Why do We Romanticize Suffering?

Today, I had a moment of realization—one of those quiet, honest moments with myself. I was lying in bed, reflecting on how my day went. I had gone from a long day of manufacturing to grocery shopping, meal prepped, worked out, and honestly, did a lot. But the one thing that stayed on my mind was how I woke up at 12 p.m.

And instead of celebrating all the things I actually did, I was beating myself up for waking up “too late.” Telling myself I should’ve been up at 8 a.m., that I should’ve been more productive, more on edge, more stressed. And that’s when it hit me: why do I associate suffering with being good enough? Why do I think peace is suspicious?

Somewhere along the line, we started romanticizing struggle. We made exhaustion a badge of honor. We told ourselves that if we weren’t constantly tired, constantly chasing, constantly doing, then we weren’t trying hard enough. But that’s a lie. That’s a mindset we inherited—not one we chose.

And as a woman, I especially feel that pressure. But I’m also starting to believe something different. Something softer. Something truer to who I am.

I don’t believe women are supposed to live in suffering. I believe we’re supposed to be in our feminine energy—soft, strong, intuitive, peaceful. I’m not saying we don’t work. I’m saying we’re supposed to work smart, not in a way that drains us to prove we’re worthy. We deserve to build beautiful lives without feeling like we have to earn our joy through pain.

Yes, discipline is important. Yes, showing up matters. But life isn’t just about hustle. Life is about peace. It’s about joy. It’s about gratitude. And I think both can exist at the same time. You can be ambitious and gentle with yourself. You can get things done and rest. You can build your dream life without making suffering the foundation.

So, if you’ve been feeling like you’re not doing enough unless you’re stressed—please stop. You are allowed to enjoy your life. You are allowed to feel good. And no, nothing is wrong with you when things are going right.

Let’s stop romanticizing suffering.

Let’s start romanticizing softness, joy, alignment, and peace—the kind that doesn’t demand you lose yourself in the process.